Part 1 - The Worst Part

Following on from my previous blog, this is when things became really complicated for me. On the same day he mentioned on facebook that he would be going to University in September and our day together happened in August. He heart sank, I had never felt so down hearted. I texted him to confirm whether this was true and it was. Then things became very complicated very fast.

I can't remember exactly which of these important events happened first but here we go. I started to doubt that we would be in a relationship so I tested him. I tested to see if he really liked me and these few months were not just a waste of space. The first significant event I can remember is that he didn't speak to me for the course of two weeks. I was devastated, so during those two weeks I said on facebook that everything was going really well with me and that I was really happy, when truthfully I wasn't, I was angry, confused, upset, and above all things hurt.

He then text me going I am glad your happy as I knew he would be looking at my statuses, we started to chat and then I had told him that I had a date with someone (which I did) and he started to be a little angry? He text me going who with, why and how. I could tell from the text he was angry and also someone else had asked me out on a date during this time. I still picked Liam.

One of my friends Jon played cricket with him on occasions and asked Liam whether he knew me and he just shrugged his shoulders according to Jon. I found this rather odd. I then found out from previous other people that he didn't accept his uni offer and decided to do an art course instead.

Later that day I was on a train to Brighton to see a cousin of mine. I knew I had the whole train journey to work this thing out between me and Liam. I couldn't contain it any longer and texted him saying that I had liked him for a while. The text back was 'thats nice'. That's nice? I am pouring my feelings out to this guy and all he can say is thats nice!

Eventually he said he didn't feel the same way and we sort of ended it all, friendship, texting, emailing, everything. I have never cried a whole train journey until that journey. It was the most horrendous journey ever!

A couple of weeks later I had also found out that he had started going out with a girl on his course. Now this is when it gets really complicated. He obviously knew of this girl beforehand as I had seen pictures of them together before the course so either he was seeing her around the time I was falling for him or even before then! Either way it didn't bow down to well in my books.

At this time I noticed that one of Liam's friends Harry had taken a shine to me and we started to date. Eventually we went out and we have been together ever since.

Around September time when it all happened til the next September. As a person I wasn't happy. I wasn't putting myself first. I had become to people please, I was always putting everyone else first. It was the worst year of my life despite me being promoted to a teaching assisstant inside I was screaming for help!

Then I had started University and my first year I became deeply depressed, mostly because of my course. I was very stressed. I had heard from Harry that Liam was very happy on his course, he was in London, a top art school and even though he had split from his girlfriend I was constantly comparing that he was on a better course than I was etc etc constantly comparing.

When Liam had split with his girlfriend I asked what happened and if he was okay (big mistake). He told me that she was the love of his life and that he would probably never find a girl like her again(all of this messaged to me!) What an inconsiderate ass! O well he eventually started to flirt with me and this was not cool because not only at the time I was with Harry one of his friends, it also hit me that Liam was not a very nice person and was showing his true colours.

The next year I eventually could move to a better course and it suits me perfectly. I am still with Harry and I am now not depressed or people pleasing anymore. I will tell you in my next blog how this came about and how Liam is not in my life anymore and how I have really changed my outlook in life despite going through two years of hell.

I don't blame Liam for most of this but I do blame him for some because if he would of just done this tiny little thing that I asked him to which was to explain what happened then maybe he would of saved me more aggro then I needed.